Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Soft Glow of Electric Sex

I woke up to my phone buzzing - an e-mail coming in. Usually, this is the daily e-mail my mother sends out to all her children.

But not today.

No, today I looked at the Blackberry and said, "Damn blog commentors..."

And then I promptly went back to sleep.

Fast forward a few hours later, after my run and - surprise!

I have won A Major Award
Yes, friends I have won an Oscar. Why you might ask? Well, if you have spent anytime on my blog you will probably have a definitive statement... Something like, "WTF? This guy barely uses proper GRAMMAR."

What can I say, it is one of those lifetime achievement jobs. It's just how I roll.

So look for me on Oscar night. I'm the one who'll be all:

...but a dude.

Okay, for all of you who believed I met Stephanie Meyer, feel free to stop reading here. If you were like, "This fool didn't meet no Stephanie Meyer!" Then, please, continue.

So, let's rewind the past couple minutes you've been reading this blog. You're probably thinking, "Uh, yeah - that's time of my life I'm never getting back..." Either way, let us rewind.

I woke up to my phone buzzing - an e-mail coming in. Usually, this is the daily e-mail my mother sends out to all her children.

But not today.

No, today I looked at the Blackberry and said,"Holy Crap, I've won an award."

Heather Kelly told me to check out her blog, that I'd won an award, all that. So, I did. I read the post, excited. I called all my family. I even woke up my wife all, "My blog just won an award..." She pulled the covers back over her head and said something like, "Po Way!" I don't know.

Anyway, it seems I've been awarded The Silver Lining Award! What does this mean? Well, I don't know. But it's an award. And much like the time I won The Heisman, it is an honor and a privilege. Just read this:
I have decided to only award this award to one person. The five person thing feels too much like a chain letter to me, and someone else paved the way for this technique. (Hint, I already gave him five awards above.)

So, I am awarding this award to... Bryan Bliss. Because he doesn't post often, but when he does, his posts are chock-full of awesomeness. And to rebel against the seemingly girlish nature of this particular award.
So, who cares what this award actually means. I mean, I've actually been able to convince somebody that I am awesome. (I am awesome, obviously, but you'd be surprised how difficult it is to prove such a thing scientifically. At this point, it's more of a theory.)

I'm happy to accept this Silver Lining Award, and I shall treasure it always.

Thank you to Heather for giving me my first interview and my first award (besides the Heisman, of course.)

Oh, if you're wondering about the title of this blog (The Soft Glow of Electric Sex), please view THIS video.


  1. Um, I was the ONE who thought you met Stephanie Meyer. Yes it was me. But don't let my gullible nature detract from the award. And this time, I had an inkling of what was actually coming. Thanks for being AWESOME!

  2. You are so going to get some random people to your blog from that post title! (Love that movie though!)
    Congrats, Mr. Award Winner!

  3. Heather - So, I thank AND mock you (unintentionally, of course...) in the same blog post. Wow. That's TALENT.

    Kelly - I know, right? (regarding shady people finding said blog...)

  4. Yes, very interesting title! But the post deserves extra eyes because it is hilarious. Congrats on your award.

  5. The husband is obsessed with that christmas movie but I've never seen it - one day he'll probably leave me over that.

    Congrats on being awesome!

  6. How does that... "happen?" Now, I can TOTALLY understand somebody not seeing Zombieland, but A CHRISTMAS STORY? Holy Crap.

  7. I didn't come to this country until like....a decade after that movie came out!! I didn't even know it existed until three or so years ago. It's not like I've never seen Die Hard. (Those people should be neutered.)

  8. I think its the perfect way to understand American culture! ;)

  9. My work computer blocked your blog today because of that title.

  10. LOL!! You crack me guess what? You get ANOTHER AWARD!

    Tee hee!

  11. Paul - Sorry!
    Pam - Two awards in one day? Seriously? Next up: National Book Award.... right? RIGHT? ;)

  12. I'd say Heather is definitely the winner here, she totally got you to post sooner than later.

    Word verification: Heman